Conviction of Spirit. Pioneer of the Heart. Seeker of Truth.

Seven years ago, I was ever-so-wildly confronted by my lifelong pain and trauma. Having groomed my true sense of self to silence, I was given two options; I could either keep repressing the awakening memories that continued to follow me in every crevice of my existence, or I could sit with the bleeding elephant, learn to connect to it and invoke healing and to harness the wisdom from it to forge a new life for myself and for my children.

For most of my life, I believed I wasn’t worthy of having the life I desired. I was raised Mormon, given the beliefs of dogmatic thinking and enabled to exist in a life of white supremacy, patriarchy and centering men. As a woman I inherently didn’t have any worth or value without following the traditions of getting married and having children, nor would I have the acceptance of my parents, which seemingly was the constant undercurrent of my life’s work and decision-making process.

As the eldest sibling, I earned the labels of ‘Jack-Mormon' and ‘black sheep' within my family, however, I've always found the practice of categorizing personalities as ‘good' or ‘bad' to be overly simplistic. Deep down, I've never agreed with such binary labels.

Embracing my rebellious spirit and the insight that comes with age, I now see my altruism and neurodiversity as sacred gifts that shed light on every pursuit of justice.

Growing up in a dysfunctional environment teaches you to adapt to the authority figure in the home and in this kind of home becomes not a place of love and support, but a battleground of unpredictability. Being acutely aware and sensitive to others' discomforts, I would invest my energy and attention into alleviating it, hoping to quell the turmoil. Yet, if I inadvertently said or did something that irritated the head of the household, I became the target of their projections, or in other words, the family scapegoat.

I possessed a mind of my own, filled with an abundance of words and emotions, perpetually on the verge of causing unease within my family. My honesty unsettled them for as long as I can recall, and regardless of how I sought to express my earnest wish for recognition and understanding, I was labeled the ‘difficult' child. To preserve my family's reputation and perpetuate the dysfunction at home, I was taught to dismiss my childhood experiences and my deepest feelings as unreal. I was led to believe that my human experience was wrong.

I am a survivor and a warrior of life, and it wasn't until my late 20’s that I grasped the extent of my trauma. I confronted my shadow; I faced the pain and anger of a wounded inner child haunted by memories I couldn't flee. This awakening consumed me, unveiling a perspective of my life that was indelible.

Embracing radical acceptance, I chose to commit to my healing journey and to re-parent my inner child. This decision brought an end to entrenched belief systems, conditioning, patterns, behaviors, addictions, attachments, and dysfunctional relationships, compelling me to address every unresolved experience.

The term ‘tough' scarcely describes the profound reprogramming that ensued, as I encountered memories that resonated with my soul's truth yet defied all logic and grasp, I had created of my external world. Despite the agony, I recognized these traumas as integral to fulfilling my divine purpose.

My soul recognized a truth my body had always sensed, and despite considerable resistance, I crossed a threshold into self-discovery. Confronting the darkness that overshadowed my existence, I chose to act differently rather than remain a perpetual victim, confronting and embracing the parts of myself I had once vehemently rejected and neglected. This allowed me to transform my pain into something beautiful, to heal my inner child, and to prepare to share my journey with the world.

Self-made, my knowledge stems from harrowing life experiences, including CSA, domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. My wisdom is drawn from my spirit, and my artistry is the expression of my inner child. I have traversed the spectrum of experiences and emerged with stories to share.

So grateful to have you here… all parts of you.